Although I am aware of how my thoughts and actions affect everyone around me, sometimes it is hard to consider that when making decisions in my life. Sometimes I don't want to be the one responsible for making the decisions in this family, sometimes I just don't want to make any decisions at all. I feel jaded by the fact that I am the responsible one and it is not in me to make decisions that risk my family for my own personal gain. I know that I am able to make bad decisions but my conscience prevents me from doing so...My first thought is ALWAYS "how does this affect my family, my children, my husband"? Is it wrong to be angry when my husband does not do the same? Or is that on me because I make that choice? Maybe I over analyze every situation, maybe that is my curse.